A little extra! » emichelle1113

Priceless!

emichelle1113 — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:27:06 +0000

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

New paying survey site!

emichelle1113 — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:33:17 +0000

Here’s a new survey site I have found if anyone is interested (please copy and paste if you can’t click on this link):

http://www.surveydownline.com/e/s.aspx?fid=28464

Over 200 Yummy Cake Recipes for the Holidays…or Whenever!!

emichelle1113 — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:12:04 +0000

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0002.html

Many of these look amazingly delicious!

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

emichelle1113 — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:46:45 +0000

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is..
They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She
Came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building
Materials for his home. She read . ‘and so the pig went up to the man with the
Wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
Straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ….’I think the
Man would have said – ‘Well, I’ll be damned!! A talking pig!’

The teacher had to leave the room.

Little Carol wants a new bike for Christmas

emichelle1113 — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:17:45 +0000

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her

mother was making dinner.

Her birthday was coming up and she thought

this was a good time to tell

her mother what she wanted.

'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.'

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker.

She had gotten into

trouble at school and at home..

Carol's mother asked her if she thought

she deserved to get a bike for her birthday.

Little Carol, of course,

thought she did.

Carol's mother, being a Christian woman,

wanted her to reflect on her

behavior over the last year,

and write a letter to God and tell him why

she deserved a bike for her birthday.

Little Carol stomped up the steps

to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

_____

LETTER 1:

 Dear God:

I have been a very good girl this year and

I would like

 a bike for my birthday.

I want a red one

Your friend, Carol

 Carol knew this wasn't true..

She had not been a very good girl this

year, so she tore up the letter

and started over.

  _____

LETTER 2:

 Dear God:

This is your friend Carol. I have been a

pretty good girl this year, and

I would like a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true either.

She tore up the letter and started

again.

  _____

LETTER 3:

Dear God:

  I know I haven't been a good girl this year.

I am very sorry. I will

be a good girl if you just send me a red bike

for my birthday.

Thank you, Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true,

this letter was not going to get her a

bike. By now, she was very upset.

She went downstairs and told her

mother she wanted to go to church.

Carol's mother thought her plan had

worked because Carol looked very sad.

‘Just be home in time for dinner,’ her mother said. Carol walked down

the street to the church and up to the altar.

She looked around to see

if anyone was there.. She picked up a statue of

the Virgin Mary ,

slipped it under her jacket and ran out of

the church, down the

 street, into her house, and up to her room.

She shut the door and sat down and

wrote her letter to God.

  _____

LETTER 4:

I GOT YOUR MAMA.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed, YOU KNOW WHO

Daddy Long Legs

emichelle1113 — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:13:31 +0000

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was..
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked.
‘They’re mating,’ her father replied.
‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked.
‘That’s a Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered..
‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, ‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’
‘The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat…
‘Well, we’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden’ she said.

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

emichelle1113 — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 06:10:14 +0000

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

(see each breeds’ answers below)

	1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
	2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
	3. Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
	4. Rottweiler: Make me.
	5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
	6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
	7. German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
	8. Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
	9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
	10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
	11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb.”
	12. Greyhound/Saluki: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
	13. Heeler/Australian Cattle Dog: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
	14. Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Keep going down

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
	“How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?”
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Arnicare Sample

emichelle1113 — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:57:48 +0000

http://www.tasteforlife.com/catalog/SampleRequest.asp?Product=1225

While I have not specifically tried Arnicare, I do regularly use the main ingredient in it’s pure form, ARNICA MONTANA. I picked up a small jar in Mexico about six months ago. I just went back a month ago and got ten more jars. (They only cost about $2.35 a jar there, depending on the dollar/peso exchange). I was simply amazed at how well this product works! I used to hang my feet off of the side of the bed just to go to sleep at night, because the sheets even made my feet hurt and burn. Docs still don’t know what the problem is. Not the point, though. My point is that if you have any type of muscular/nerve pain, this is a truly amazing herb. Whether you get the sample here, (and you have to be fast, because they only offer a few a day), or get the pure form, I implore all fellow sufferers out there who don’t want to take pain pills, or they do not work for you, to try this.

Good luck, and live pain free.

A Plea To All Dog Lovers…

emichelle1113 — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:31:24 +0000

http://video.hsus.org/?fr_story=05a4cc52bd83b42070825840fbf20d4bf5c85728&rf=bm

PLEASE do not buy puppies from puppy mills! These dogs are horribly mistreated, and deserve a better life. They have no human contact. They spend 7-10 years in cages, which are cramped and filthy, and they only have wire mesh to walk on. They rarely have shade, and live in their own waste. This is only so someone can make the almighty buck. When a puppy mill breeding dog is taken from their cage after this many years, they are afraid to even walk on grass, because it is unfamiliar to them. Imagine being in prison all your life, and being made to produce litter after litter.

I implore everyone who reads this to rescue a dog. DO NOT buy dogs from breeders or pet stores. They only perpetuate this travesty. Over two million dogs a year are euthanized, because they were not rescued by a loving family. If I can touch one person’s heart with this plea, I will sleep better tonight.

When I rescued my dog, he had a broken leg and three cigarette burns on his back. He is now the most loving dog I could have ever hoped for. He’s just happy to have a better life.

Please…just think about this.

Little Joseph Wants A Bike…

emichelle1113 — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:47:43 +0000

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father
said, ‘Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is
$280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford
it.’ The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front
door with a suitcase. So he asked, ‘Son, where are you going?’ Little
Joseph told him; ‘I was walking past your room last night and heard you
telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait
because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by
myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!