Let’s ask our “experts”! 
DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA :
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras…#@&&h^(C% ……. reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY :
Where’s my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right
hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.
Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like
the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop
over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function. 
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function
and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. 
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more
look just like bones. These foods
specifically target bone strength.
Bones are 23% sodium and these
foods are 23% sodium. If you don't
have enough sodium in your diet the
body pulls it from the bones, making
them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal
needs of the body. 
Eggplant, Avocadoes and Pears target the
health and function of the womb and cervix
of the female - they look just like these
organs. Today's research shows that when a
woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances
hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and
prevents cervical cancers. And how profound
is this? ...... It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from blossom to
ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of
nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and
named about 141 of them).
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually
balance the glycemic index of diabetics. 
Grapefruits, Oranges, and other citrus fruits look
just like the mammary glands of the female and
actually assist the health of the breasts and the
movement of lymph in and out of the breasts. 
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the
7. German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
14. Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it.By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. 
